I’ve been busy doing my taxes, writing a new book and finishing publishing the tenth Bill Reyner story. I know, it’s just an excuse. So I thought I’d like to write something a little different. Kids often say things that adults wouldn’t dream of saying, therefore let’s have a little look at some.
Teacher – Children do any of you know where Christ is?
Boy in front row – Yes Miss, he lives in my bathroom.
Not wishing to destroy the child’s faith she asks – How do you know that, Johnny?
Johnny – Because every morning my dad bangs on the bathroom door and shouts, “Jesus Christ are you still in there?”
A little Irish lad from poor parents playing with my children. I thought I would be nice to go see the sea. “So Christopher we’re all going to the beach would you like to come along?”
“To the beach?”
“Yes. Would you like to come with us?”
He shook his head and looked puzzled. “To the beach?”
“Yes. You do know what a beach is don’t you?”
The kid smiled. “Sure, it’s, a female dog.”
Showing off I thought I’d show my granddaughter how good I was at flying a model helicopter. We took the machine outside and I demonstrated several neat manoeuvres but whilst returning from a particularly difficult exercise the machine collided with a tree – pieces of helicopter all over the place. “Oh dear,” I said. “I seem to have made a bit of a blunder.”
Three-year-old Kate placed her hands on her hips and admonished me with, “Well, Grandad, you will just have to try harder next time.”